Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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