I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
