stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
