I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize