a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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