it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize