Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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