on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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