Sponge bath it is.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
