so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
