dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
he high fived his dick after we had sex
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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