Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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