Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
