is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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