just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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