Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
