I must be too annoying 4 u.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
