So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
