If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
