So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
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