You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
