how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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