He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
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"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
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In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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