His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
