is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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