I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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