If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
