she was so not down for the gang bang
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
