he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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