When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
