i think my mom watched the whole time
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
