Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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