Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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