the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
