Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
tell me about the fingering
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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