I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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