as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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