My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
