My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
