i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Randomize