I want to stick my p in your. b.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
