How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I wish there were birth control emojis
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
