and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Someone came in the potted fern
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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