so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
