i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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