I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
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Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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