why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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