today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
