He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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