party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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