he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
