One girl and one boy is just not enough.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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