I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
