just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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