We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
