You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
false alarm, still single
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
