Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
